Milford Pennsylvania Wedding Photography
Getting married this summer or early fall? After much consideration, I am turning my photography hobby into something more. I am starting my own photography business in the Milford Pennsylvania and Pocono area of Pennsylvania and need to build up my portfolio. If you are getting married this summer or this coming fall, are in need of a wedding photographer and are getting married in the Milford, Pennsylvania or Pocono area, you could get free wedding photography!
Yes, you read right! Free wedding photography in the Milford Pennsylvania area. If you are on a strict wedding budget or do not have any money at all to pay for a professional photographer, I will photograph your wedding for free. Why would I do that? The building block of a photographer’s business is there portfolio. When a photographer is first starting out, there is limited to no portfolio, so the photographer needs to find ways to build one. Often times, such as I am doing, the photographer will offer free or low cost photography sessions in order for them to build their portfolios.
For free, you will get your wedding photographed (up to 6 hours of coverage) and 200 photographs of your special day. Your images will also be provided to you on a disc as well. For complete details and more information, please use the contact form on this website to contact me. I will be providing this service for 3 couples to help build my portfolio. Even if you are getting married last minute, do not hesitate to contact me. Once again, if you are located in the Milford, Pennsylvania or Pocono region and are getting married, please contact me if you are interested in receiving free photography for your special day!
*You can also leave me a comment with your contact info. as well.
Google Thinks Jon & Kate Plus 8 Is Important
Maybe I should turn my website into a blog about celebrities. Why? If anyone knows anything about SEO, they know how daunting it can be to get a website ranked high in the search engines; specifically Google. In the last 15 hours, I made 2 posts about Jon & Kate Plus 8 and now this site pops up all over the place in Google when searching for keywords related to Jon & Kate Plus 8.
So when it comes down to it, if you want your website or blog to be ranked high in Google, just post about Jon & Kate Plus 8. Apparently even the search engine crawlers are interested…
Are Jon & Kate The Bad Guys Or The Public?
When I made my post last night about Jon & Kate Plus 8, I promised myself that it was going to be the only post I would ever make. Along with scheduling, maybe I am also bad at keeping my word to myself as well. After I made my post last night, I went to the website Gosselins Without Pity to see what people on the blog were saying about the upcoming episode. As you can tell from the blog name, the website is a place for people to chat about the Gosselins and most of what is spoken is not positive.
I was quite astonished to find a post from a person who claims that Kate Gosselin has been canceled as a speaker at the Toronto Healthy Kids Expo. The poster then went on to thank those who had emailed the event along with her. Are people serious? Yes, if there is going to be a speaker at any sort of event, the public has a right to express their opinions if they do not want that person to speak or be at the event. It happens all of the time with college graduation ceremonies. What bothers me though is that people are actually emailing an event and trying to get a person canceled from the event when they do not even know the person and the only thing(s) they know about that person is what they see in the media.
Do people really despise Kate Gosselin so much that they make it their goal to get her canceled from an event? If people are so concerned, why not go to the event and meet her so then people can actually form a valid opinion? That is not caring about her kids, that is sabotage.
First of all, as mentioned in my last post, it has been documented that Jon Gosselin is looking for an apartment in New York City. People want to bash Kate but the kid’s father wants to move hours away from his kids? For those who think that Jon will get custody or wants him too, the courts would never let him take the kids out of state permanently unless Kate agreed to it…as in flat out gave him custody. Second, he was looking at a one bedroom…does this sound like he is THAT concerned about having enough room for his kids to even come and visit? How is he going to shove 8 kids into a one bedroom apartment. No, he has not taken the apartment, but why would he even look at a small place over 2 hours away if he was that concerned about his kids? The kids do deserve a home with enough room to move around and a yard to play in.
Yes, it seems as though money is big factor to Jon & Kate…but has anyone ever noticed all of the toys that Jon has? Kate is not the only one who loves money, that is very clear. Kate is controlling so no matter what Jon does, he is still innocent? I am having a hard time comprehending how some can assume that he is innocent in all of this.
And as for all of Kate’s family making statements to the media, how does that make them any different from Jon & Kate? I do not believe for one second that they were not paid when they went on television shows to express “concern” about the kids. If people are really concerned about the kids, handle it in private; not in the media.
Everyone has a right to an opinion when it comes to those who are in the media. I base my opinions on what I read and hear and fully admit that I could be wrong about 100% of what I say. However, my opinion would never lead me to develop actually hate for someone who I do not even know, nor would I ever sabotage someone and prevent them from doing something that they were scheduled to do all because of my personal feelings and/or opinions.
Jon & Kate Plus 8…I Want A Reality Show Too
For those who follow, I apologize for the lack of posts lately. School has been quite challenging this semester and I am busy finding a Master’s or Phd program that I want to apply for. My scheduling techniques might not be the best when it comes down to it!
I’ve given a lot of thought to be make a post on the television show Jon & Kate Plus 8. Only those who have no Internet or cable access might not know about this show. I don’t normally comment on celebreties or reality television because I try to keep my focus on more day to day things regarding relationships and family life. As a married woman and a mother of 2 children however, I cannot prevent myself from stating my two cents on the subject matter, especially now that during the last two hours of watching TLC, I have seen the promo for the pair’s upcoming “announcement” more times than I care to mention.
I have been reading a lot of posts on the Internet over the past few days from fans of the show and those who despise Jon & Kate Plus 8. One thing that I have noticed is how everyone seems to bash Kate yet many people seem to support Jon. Don’t get me wrong, I do not know him nor do I know Kate. If you are thinking that I do not have a right to comment, you’re probably right but everyone is entitled to their opinion. From a marital perspective, could it be that Kate comes off controlling because she feels she has to be? Jon has denied the affair rumors, and I am no person to say whether he did or didn’t, but if you are a married man, why would even be with a single woman out on the town late at night? I am certain that any wife would question what her husband was doing hanging out with a much younger girl late at night. Recent photos of Jon show him smoking and with a new ear piercing. He is a person who can do whatever he wants to, but I view him doing those things as a way to spite Kate. Not that a person smoking or getting their ear pierced should mean divorce, but when a woman feels as though she is at risk for losing everything she loves, she is going to fight and do whatever she has to do to keep what she loves.
Does this mean I am on Kate’s side? There is no side since I do not know these people. I am however saying that there is a double standard here. On the show Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kate comes off as controlling and maybe she is that way in real life. However, Jon is viewed as the victim and I see no victim here except for the kids. It does take two to tango and I highly doubt only person is at fault here. There has been a lot of hype recently about Kate denying her daughter a drink of water but then taking a drink herself. I have to admit that as a parent, I do see that as a wrong move, but it all most seems like her flaws or outlandish remarks are hitting the media quicker than anything Jon is or isn’t doing.
Today is was reported by various media outlets that Jon is looking for a new place to live in NYC. Why would a father want to move away from his children? NYC is only a little over two hours drive, but still. No matter how much he dislikes Kate, there is no reason for him to move away from his kids. To me at least, that is not in the best interest of the kids.
And what about the kids? If Jon and Kate do indeed announce that they are divorcing this Monday night, what is that going to do to the kids? As a product of divorce myself, it is a hard enough ordeal to go through without parents announcing it on camera. When the kids get older, they can sit down in front of the television and watch those painful words over and over again.
I want a reality show too…is a little sarcastic. I am going to lay it all out there though. They had 8 kids…that was their choice. Yes, people will argue that it was not their choice because the pregnancies could have yielded any outcome in regards to the number of babies born. However, they knew the risks. My family consists of myself, my husband plus 2. Jon & Kate Plus 8 is supposed to be a reality tv show. Let me take a moment to define reality when it comes to having a family and raising kids. Reality is having to wake up every day with no help what so ever from a nanny or anyone else. Reality is that marriage is hard enough without several other people and cameras running around my house. Reality is working 60 hours a week running my own business and being a full time mom and a full time college student. Reality is having one car to get two adults and two children from place to place. Reality is that my house has been too small since the day after we moved into it but a bigger place is not a “reality”. Reality is working at 1 in the morning and waking up at 7 with the kids. Reality is doing all of the cooking, all of the cleaning. Reality is making a million phone calls a day.
No I do not want my own reality show nor will I ever. I do not however feel that using the word “reality” is appropriate for the show. All families go through struggles, all families have problems, all children are cute to watch. There are however issues that should be private matters and I think Jon & Kate are in a situation which should be kept private…if not for anything else, than for their children. I do wish them and their children the best and I do hope that whatever they choose to do, it will be the right thing for everyone involved. I just have a feeling though that money ruined this couple and even if they do separate, it is going to continue ruining them and the kids are going to go through things that they should never have to.
10 Tips To Grow Long Hair
I have browsed the internet over the past few months in search for tips on how to grow my hair longer. Right after high school but a few years before marriage, I decided to take the plunge and cut my hair short. It was actually very cute and I liked it a lot. When I made the leap into short hair, my hair was in a layered cut which sat right below my shoulders. My new short haircut reached my earlobes on the sides and was slightly tapered in the back. In all actuality, it was one of those moves that women make after ending a serious relationship. He liked my hair long and I wanted to do anything and everything that he didn’t like- you get the drift.
After making this leap into the short hair world, a problem arose. I am a low maintenance girl by all means and this cut worked for me in several different ways. Every time it would start growing out, I was back to the hairstylist for a shorter cut. Nearly 10 years later, I still have short hair!! It has been every length in between short and spikey to chin length, but no longer than that.
For the past couple of years, I have really been getting the urge to attempt the growing my hair out. For those who have been blessed with long hair their whole lives, this is a battle that you will probably not understand. But for those who have ever had short hair, I know that you understand this quite well.
The last time my hair was chopped was two months ago. At that time, it was cut into a very short pixie style which ranged from one to two inches all over. My hair luckily does grow quickly and it is currently 2-4 inches all over. This is honestly the longest I have ever gone without the urge for another trim. Part of my so called brief success over the past couple of months has come from different tricks that I have learned in a short amount of time. Here, I would like to share the 10 tips to grow long hair that have seemed to work for me- so far…
10. Try out a software program that shows how you will look with the long hairstyle that you desire. www.hairboutique.com has a free one which I think is pretty good. They also have some cute hair clips and other products that will ease your transition. No- I do not work for them by any means or have any sort of relationship with them aside from being a customer. If you feel the urge to cut coming on, it helps to look at your desire result all over again until the urge passes.
9. Keep your hair healthy! One of the reasons that I went so short with my last haircut was that I had a lot of damage from hair dye. When I was in my early twenties, it seemed as though I could change my hair color whenever I wanted to and my hair would still feel soft and silky. Two kids and late twenties later, that privilege does not seem to hold true anymore. If you are growing your hair longer and it feels or looks damaged, the urge to cut may creep up more than you would like it to. You will feel great if you are able to run your fingers through your hair when it starts to grow and be greeted with soft locks.
8. Do not look at any hairstyle pictures while you are in the growing process. This may sound silly, but you may come across pictures of cute short haircuts that are tempting.
7. Drink lots of water! To be honest, I hate water and love diet pepsi and coffee. Water makes me feel ill when I drink too much of it, but hair needs hydration to grow quickly. I started buying those little flavor packets that they now sell. You can pour the powder into a bottle of water to provide a little flavor. Doing it this way does not seem to upset my stomach as much either.
6. Throw out the scissors- or at least hide them (and forget them!) In desperate times when we are sick and frustrated of our hair, all women have tempted the self cut at least once in their life. (If not, don’t worry- you will). If you do not want to waste the money on a hairstylist for a trim, you may be tempted to cut a little off yourself. As you start trimming though, you may lose track of your want for long hair and decide to chop off too much.
5. Do not spend too much time in front of the mirror. When you are getting ready in the morning, do your hair, make up and then get out of the bathroom! If you spend too much time looking at yourself, you are going to start to analyze. “Gee, it just took me 10 minutes to do my hair instead of 5″ and so on.
4. Change stylists. What?! Why would you want to go trust your hair to another person when the one you have is doing a good job? What if the new person messes up or doesn’t know what they are doing? That’s my point. Your regular stylist knows what he or she is doing and they have been “doing it” to your hair for months or years. Even if you explain to them that you are growing your hair out, you may get asked “are you sure?” Or worse yet, “oh, but you look so good with short hair!” When you go to a new stylist, they do not know your hair history. This is a good thing for someone who is trying to grow their hair out.
3. Do go for trims. Yes, the point is growing your hair long, but you also want to grow your hair long and have it look good. Due to this, you will still need to have your hair trimmed. I know, it is heartbreaking to sit down in the chair and watch someone cut off even a 1/2 inch of your hair work, but trust me- it needs it. However, you can stretch out your trims longer than the 6 to 8 weeks us girls normally go between trims. Try going for trims every 10-12 weeks instead. If your hair is damaged, you may have to go more frequently to get back to having a head full of healthy hair, but you will reach the point where you can stretch it out a little longer.
2. Tackle the fly aways and uneven layers. This has always been my biggest problem. Layers start going whatever direction they want to take and before you know it, you are wishing for flat and tame hair again. As I mentioned before, hair clips and barrettes are a great way to tame the strands that have gotten out of hand. This is the time to buy cute hair accessories and really play around with them to create new and different looks. I love experimenting with victorian and vintage inspired clips and barrettes.
1. Tell your friends!! Why is this one number one? You use you friends for support for every other thing in your life right? If you didn’t, you wouldn’t consider them your friends. You need a support group to grow your hair long just like you need a support group to shed a few pounds. You are making a physical change to your physical appearance and this needs comfort. When you are feeling urge to chop your hair, call your friends and tell them to talk you out of it and remind you how badly you want long hair.
These might not be the most technical tips to grow long hair, but they are simple and have worked for me over the past couple of months. Trust me- I usually do not make it longer than 4-6 weeks before cuts, so 8 weeks is a celebration.
10 Tips to Stay Sane During Tax Season
Ah yes, it’s that time of year again. If you haven’t filed your taxes yet, you are probably getting ready to! Ever since I had to file taxes, I have been doing them myself and I have come up with a few tips to help make the process go smoother.
10. If you do your own taxes, spend the few bucks and purchase or download one of the tax programs. Doing them on paper is a thing of the past and can become highly confusing! It will take you a lot less time to fill in the blanks in a program than jot everything down on paper and waste a pencil.
9. Don’t pay for a rapid anticipation loan, also known as a RAL loan. A RAL is a loan and there are severe interest rates and fees involved. It could cost you hundreds of dollars, when truthfull you will only get your funds a day or two sooner than if you did not take a RAL loan and just chose direct deposit instead.
8. Pay for your tax prep fees upfront. There was a lot of confusion last year when the stimulus rebate checks came out. If you e-filed with direct deposit, but had the tax prep fees taken out of your refund, you got stuck with a paper check. There is no current word that anyone will be receiving a rebate check again this year, but with all of the crazy antics going on in politics right now, you never know. If another rebate does ever happen though, you will get your money by direct deposit and weeks sooner if you pay for your tax prep fees upfront.
7. Watch out for shady tax preparers. Most tax prep professionals are honest and will do your taxes right. However, over the past few years there have been some heartbreaking stories regarding tax professionals taking advantage of consumers. Going back to the RAL, tax prep professionals sometimes make more money when you get a larger refund. This has caused some otherwise honest people into being greedy by plugging in incorrect numbers or filing incorrect forms to get you a bigger refund. Before your professional files for you, ask to look over the papers/forms to make sure everything is correct.
6. Don’t be afraid of doing them yourself. Most tax professionals use the same types of programs you could use yourself to file taxes. For those who have someone else prepare their taxes, most have someone else file for them because they are afraid of making mistakes. Human error does happen, but the same mistake could be made by a tax professional as well. If you file and do make a mistake it’s not the end of the world. Most mistakes happen due to people forgetting to enter a w-2 or other schedule. 12 months is a long period of time and you may have forgot that you took that part time job in January of last year but only worked there for three days. In the event that you make a mistake, you can file an amended return.
5. Don’t file too soon. In relation to #6, with the tough economy over the past couple of years, many have been a rush to get their taxes filed and get their refund back if they are owed one. That is completely understandable and trust me, I have been there! However, companies do not have to have their tax forms to you post marked until Jan. 31st. Mail volume picks up during tax season making the mail move a little bit slower. You want to make sure to have all relevant information before filing so you don’t have to worry about #6.
4. Make sure you are getting all of the tax breaks that you are entitled to. This is where using a good tax program can come in handy. There are tons of free programs out there to use, but some free programs will not let you know if you are eligible to take a deduction or credit. Paying the few extra dollars may mean you get more money back or owe less taxes.
3. Keep everything organized during the year. Keep all paystubs, receipts and bank statements throughout the year. When you receive your tax forms at the end if January, make sure the amounts match what are on your paystubs, statements and receipts. For example, your w-2 from an employer should match your last pay stub from that employer in most instances. If you find a mistake on your w-2 or another form, make sure to contact the company ASAP to get a correct w-2 or form. Do not file yet if someone sends you an incorrect statement or form.
2. Be aware of the tax changes. Before filing, research any new tax laws for money saving credits/deductions or changes that will affect you.
1. Look over your taxes before submitted! Whether you file yourself or have someone else do your taxes for you, make sure to look them over before the submit button is pressed or before they are dropped in the mail! I have heard horror stories over tax refunds never being received due to incorrect bank information being listed on the return or returns being rejected due to incorrect information. A few minutes of looking them over can save you weeks or months of frustration later down the road!!
* I am not a tax advisor or a tax professional. The tips listed above were created from real life experiences that I have seen, been through or heard about. If you have any questions about your taxes, please consult a tax professional.
Relationships on Talk Shows
Something struck me the other day and I started thinking about the scenario. A lot of talk shows these days are covering relationship issues due to the economy, cheating, stress etc and constantly have guests on who want to know if they should stay together or get divorced. Going on a talk show to ask about your relationship though is something that I find not necessary. Not to sound rude, but it all most makes me think that some just want a free trip and for the talk show to pay for free counseling or provide other services to the couple. It is true, some cannot afford marriage or family counseling and for those people, I guess it would make sense to try and get free help.
I more so wondering about the quick fix that so many of us yearn for. Go on a talk show, get an answer from the host and that settles that right? Not really! There are no “quick fixes” when it comes to a marriage or relationship. No one person you spend an hour with can tell you whether or not you should stay together or split up. Yes, there are intakes done of the situation before the person or couple goes on the show, but still. It just irritates me that we have a tendency to try and fix our problems quickly and most of the time ineffectively.
Talk shows are aimed for entertainment and most are not qualified to say whether or not a person should stay with their spouse or partner. Not only that, but why would people want to display their marital or relatonship problems for entertainment purposes.
To me this shows that a lot of people do not want to take the time or energy to actually fix their problems or come to a decision on their own.
Internet Match Making Sites
I have to admit- I was a huge fan of the show “Confessions of a Matchmaker” which aired on A&E a couple of years ago. Like most good reality television though, the show was canceled for unknown reasons! I also have to admit that I watched “Mama’s Boys” the other night as well- not so good reality tv, even though I found myself glued to the television for 2 painful hours…but that’s for another post.
What I want to talk about is matchmaking services- specifically online/internet matchmaking services such as e-harmony, match.com and chemistry.com. Now I am not discounting this services, after all they can work, I suppose if used correctly. However, I am quite concerned over the rejection people have and will feel when trying to use these services. I always like to try things on per say, and decided to join a few online/internet matchmaking websites to see what they were all about. Understand I am married, but it’s journalism. Luckily I have a spouse who supports my crazy investigations 
I created a profile on each of the providers websites. Let’s get match.com out of the way quickly since I really do not have anything to say about it. Setting up my profile was easy enough and did not take too long to complete. Questions were asked and answered, but over all it was a simple process. There was not any real matchmaking however. The site lets you look at potential matches in your area for free, and I compare it more to a personals website aimed at giving those looking for love a place to meet online and get to know each other. I cannot really complain about match.com, but I do not have anything profound to say either.
Chemistry.com had me take an assessment in varying different areas of personality. I find these types of “assessments” interesting, as a psychology student, most of the questions asked did not seem to be based off of any one personality theory model or a combination of them. I found myself answering questions regarding what I do, who I am and what I think about certain things, and then the same about a potential match, but here is where it gets very interesting. After completing the semi-long questionnaire, I was given roughly a dozen men that were good matches for me. The problem? There are two problems, really.
The first is that there were only 12 men. I am not in any way trying to be egotistical by any means, but my radius from where I live was pushed out pretty far and I do not live that far from the NYC area. There are only 12 men in the NYC metro area and beyond that are matches for me? It would be fine if the men which were matched to me were actually men who I personally would have went for, but that leads me to problem two.
None of the matches were even close to what I would be attracted to. There were no common interests, even though I did not put any restrictions on the guy’s looks. Just to make sure, I went back and repeated everything, and my matches actually decreased- to 10! One guy’s profile made me laugh a little as he put a joke in his description, but that was about the extent of any “chemistry”.
You know what the assessment reminded me of? It reminded me of one of those employer questionnaires you would take to get a job at Wal-mart or some other chain type retail store. No knock against Wal-mart, but they all make you answer those questions to somehow determine whether or not you will be a good employee. Many of the questions were repetitive.
eharmony.com, honestly, I do not understand how this site still operates. Much like chemistry.com, it asks questions based on your own thoughts and beliefs as well as what you want in a match. The downside? I never got to experience it because I was told they were unable to match me with anyone!!! Yes, I know…I am married and maybe I answered things with bias or the system caught me trying to sign up for a dating service and the e-dating service gods knew I was truly not single. Ok…maybe not. Even as a person in a happy relationship, I felt rejected. I cannot imagine what those who are desperately wanting a relationship feels like when eharmony.com tells them that they cannot find matches for them! To be fair as I stated, this was done as a test, but I did answer the questions honestly as I would have if I was truly searching for someone.
This brings me to another problem. With the divorce rates at an all time high and the economy in the garbage can causing stress on relationship, how does their computer systems tell if someone is being honest or not? They don’t. They ask if a person is single, separated, divorced, married etc, but anyone can answer what they want to…which is not always the truth.
I do not have anything against people meeting people online given that they are cautious about how they go about things, but if there are going to be matchmaking sites, then they need to be helpful. I do not consider asking “personality” questions and then telling someone they are either not matchable or giving them matches with only a few people a good way to raise self esteem.
-V-
10 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong
Most of us feel overwhelmed financially right now due to the bad economy. Lack of jobs, lack of medical benefits, lack of good pay and high gas prices (all though they have come down lately) are all contributing to financial stress on everyone. Usually when a person or couple is having a hard time financially, there are things that can be done to correct the situation. Second jobs, working from home and cutting back on expenses are the usual ways for people to save money or get out of debt. However, the financial outlook is so grim right now, it’s hard to find a second job and expenses keep getting higher with very few ways to cut back. There are some advice that can be given to couples who are going through trying financial times right now. In no particular order…
1. Know each others finances. There is nothing worse than finding out that your partner or spouse had debt that you don’t know about. You don’t want your partner founding out that one of your creditors has filed a lawsuit against you by having a notice served at your residence. Some couples like to keep their finances separate and private from each other, and that is understandable. However, if you are in financial trouble, it can have a negative effect on your partner. If you want to keep separate finances- that’s fine, but make sure that you and your partner knows the good and bad about each others finances.
2. Don’t get mad. So your partner lost his or her job, or they don’t make a lot of money and you now find yourself getting swallowed in thousands of dollars in debt. You might also find yourself picking up the slack and helping your partner with their bills to keep their head above water. Yes- it’s frustrating, but don’t get angry at your partner. Your partner probably feels bad enough that they are jobless or are not bringing in as much money to the relationship. Constantly being angry or nagging is not going to get them motivated to find another job. Be supportive and comforting and let them know that you and your relationship will work through the bad financial time.
3. Know the “why”. This one can be hard, but just takes a few hours of thinking. Why did you and your partner end up on hard times? The “why” can also be called the “how”. Did one of you lose a job? Was there a medical issue that caused high medical bills? Did you fall into a bad mortgage? Think bad when you had money in the bank and everything was fine financially. What happened? You are not going to be able to feel better about the situation until you know how you got there. This will also prevent you from making the same mistakes again.
4. Communicate. Yes- you knew it was going to be in here somewhere Many problems in relationships are due to lack of communication and this includes financial trouble. Did you make a decision about money without your partner? Once the hard financial times fell upon you, are you and your partner talking about it? Not talking about it will not help or fix the situation. When I landed on bad money times, the one thing I realized that many decisions were not made by my partner and I, but by myself. Not only did I end up making some bad decisions on certain things, but once I made them, I did not talk to my partner about it. My partner also did not communicate to me either. It took a long while before things were fixed because we both ignored it.
5. Make a plan. Decide the best way to get out of your financial mess. Get a notebook and write down where the problem areas are in your finances and partner’s finances. Once you know the situation, make a plan on how to get out of the situation. In some instances, it may seem like there is no end at the end of the tunnel, but you will never see the light without the plan in place.
6. Make a budget. After your plan is in place, make the budget. Everyone dreads the word “budget”, but without one, you won’t know where your money is going - or not going for that matter. Most of us, when things are going good financially never keep a budget because the money is flowing and you know it’s there to spend. When things get tough, if you don’t have a budget in place at all times, you are going to keep spending and get into more financial trouble.
7. Put your plan into action. Second job? Work from home? Cut back on expenses? Sell your home? File bankruptcy? Once you made your plan, you need to stick to it and put it into action. I cannot tell you how many times that I have made a plan about some area of my life or another, and never followed through on it.
8. Don’t borrow from family members. I know, I know! If you look up advice on “how to get out of debt”, one of the first pieces of advice, is to see if a friend or family member can lend you money. However, this is a sure fire way to cause marital or relationship problems. You borrow- it gets your finances back on track for a short while- things don’t get any better in the short term financially-now you have a mother, father, sister/brother or in-law breathing down your neck to pay them back. You tell them you can’t afford it, and the sympathy that was once there for your situation goes right out the window. It’s tempting when someone you care about is standing there with a check in their hand willing to help you out…but this check is also going to be the root of all arguments with your partner when you cannot afford to pay it back.
9. Spend time together. While sitting there going through your stack of bills on a nightly basis seems like a logical thing to do, don’t forget about your partner. Make sure to still spend time with your partner. Even if you cannot afford to go places or do things, watch a favorite movie or television show. Look for local outdoor in your community which are free and not far to get to. It will not solve the money issue, but it can make you still feel connected to your partner even if you both are under extreme stress.
10. Seek outside advice. Even if you and your partner are both top notch financial advisors, when it comes to your own finances, sometimes what you know does not apply to your situation, or you can’t see the light about your own situation. Yes, most financial advisors charge a fee, but with the hard economic times in place, there are dozens of free organizations which offer financial counseling. If you prefer to see someone that charges, check and see if they have a sliding fee depending on your financial situation. Also, many professionals offer free consultations, so even if you decide to not use that person, you can at least walk away with a little advice for free.
Bad Economy=Increase in Divorce
It’s no secret to everyone that the economy has not only been one of the biggest news stories over the past several months, but it’s also putting an extreme amount of stress on relationships all over the world.
Truthfully, it is hard enough for a relationship to survive under normal circumstances. If you add in not being able to pay the rent/mortgage, worrying that the bank will repo your car for non-payment, gas money to get to work, how to put food on the table and not being able to afford the simplest necessities, the relationship survival rate drops quite quickly.
It’s easy to say that we love our partner and that we will stick by them no matter what. It is also easy to say that money does not have an influence on our relationships, but as usual, it’s easier said than done. Does anyone ever get divorced simply because the economy is bad and they have no money? Probably not. I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say that they left their partner because their partner only made ten bucks an hour at the retail store that they had to take due to losing their high end paying job. However, if the change in financial circumstances prevents the couple from being able to live stress free, separation might be in the near forecast.
Lack of money does not just prevent a person from buying the latest fall clothing line. It prevents people from putting food on the table, paying for things they already own, losing their home and not being able to put gas in their cars to get back and forth to work. The situation has become so severe that one of two things are happening all over the place.
Not only does the bad economy mean that divorce is on the rise, it also means that people are staying together for the wrong reasons. I know a person who has stayed with their partner for years for the sole reason of finances. Neither person in that relationship feels that they can leave because it will mean that they cannot survive financially apart. Of course it sounds silly and most people wonder why a person would give up their happiness for money, but lets look at it realistically. Would you rather lose your home that you have owned for many years or would you rather seek out another person who may or may not make you happier than who you are with now? I guess it’s preference, but some hold on to physical belongings more than they hold on to relationships.
Of course the second issue, is the rise in divorce due to the lacking economy. You come home from work, the bills are piled up on the kitchen table, the fridge is empty, the phone got shut off and you got another decline notice from an agency stating that they cannot help you because you make too much money. You and your partner consider bankruptcy, but you also know that the attorney fees for a joint bankruptcy can run thousands of dollars. You have to tell the kids that they cannot sign up for sports or dance classes this year and there will be no family vacation.
It’s no surprise that divorce has been on the increase over the past several years. It’s also no surprise that money has been one of the number one leading causes of divorce.
Next on songsfromyourexgirlfriend: 10 ways to keep your relationship strong in bad financial times.
